The best attitude

I wonder if you can think of a time when someone treated you or spoke to you in a way that made you feel particularly valued and respected. I am thankful to say I can. Perhaps you have had the opposite experience too, however, as I have once or twice, causing you to feel more than a little used or worthless.

Many moons ago, I worked as a casual teacher in various nearby Sydney high schools. Some of these experiences were excellent, but others were far less enjoyable, to say the least! At one school, I asked a girl standing nearby as politely as I could if she would mind moving a chair that was in everyone’s way.

‘Move it yourself!’ she snapped back in a very surly manner. ‘That’s what you’re paid to do!’

At another school, after filling in for a few days in the History Department, I was asked to stay on longer as they had discovered the teacher I was replacing would be away for some time. Not wanting her classes to get behind, I asked the subject master, whose role was to help his staff, for advice on what to teach the classes. I was happy to put in the extra effort required rather than merely babysit them but, since I usually taught Languages, felt a little at sea.

‘Work it out yourself!’ he responded in an angry, abrupt way. ‘That’s what you’re paid for!’

In the end, I did. But I also eventually reported him to the Principal—and never returned to the History Department of that school.

On the other hand, I have experienced some wonderful moments when I have felt so valued and respected. I think of one occasion early on in my writing journey when I was invited to speak at a well-attended women’s breakfast. From the outset, I felt so well cared for. Someone volunteered to sell my books on my behalf so I could focus on speaking. There was a prayer team ready to pray alongside me for others afterwards. And later, I discovered this church had given me what I felt was an embarrassingly generous monetary gift for coming and speaking.

Only recently too, I came away from an online interview with a potential publisher feeling unusually warmed and respected. Later, I realised why. I had been listened to well, had been given time to ask my own questions and, in general, had been treated with kindness and professionalism. What a joy!

This past week, I noticed a simple, little statement in one of Peter’s letters to the early believers that, while clearly being directed at Christian slaves, surely applies to us all today too.

Show proper respect to everyone. 1 Peter 2:17a

No, this is not a command for us to let others ride over us roughshod and rush to do everyone’s bidding. Instead, it should remind us to see others, whoever they are and whether we like or agree with them or not, as human beings created in the image of God, as those loved by God equally as much as we are, as those who have gifts to offer, as those who may well long to feel honoured, respected and loved.

Don’t you feel this is the best attitude to have as we walk this earth together?

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An interesting learning experience

Recently while at home recovering from Covid, I decided to tackle a jigsaw puzzle belonging to our daughter. Now, I am not usually a fan of such things. After all, why put ourselves through such torture to create a picture we can already see, only to pull it all apart when we finish?

I persevered for days with those thousand little pieces—at least, there should have been a thousand! Towards the end, I began to suspect I had lost a few—and, alas, I was right. Months earlier, our youngest granddaughter had helped me find all the edge pieces but had soon given up. In haste, I had bundled the puzzle back in the box, thinking we had not dropped any. Yet, days later, I can vaguely remember finding an odd piece or two on our carpet. Perhaps our vacuum cleaner had swallowed up even more pieces?

Whatever the case, when nearing the end of the puzzle, I realised none of those remaining pieces looked anything like the three I needed. However, I decided to keep going—and I’m glad I did.  Yes, finishing with an incomplete picture was disappointing. Yet in the process, I made some interesting discoveries.

For a start, I can now admit there may be something exciting and perhaps even addictive about finding the right piece, seeing it fit perfectly and watching that picture grow! This involved using a different part of my brain from that which I need when writing—a novel and refreshing experience indeed.

Then, to my surprise, I also discovered I could actually find the patience and perseverance required to complete this puzzle. Time and time again, I thought I had found the right piece, only for my hopes to be dashed—yet I was able to keep on trying. Perhaps this has to do with all the patience and perseverance God enabled me to have in recent years as I wrote and re-wrote and edited and re-edited entire manuscripts time and time again. And as I thought about this and thanked God for it all, I was also thankful for God’s own patience and perseverance with me over so many years.

My biggest discovery, however, was to realise how much unnecessary angst my perfectionist tendencies have often caused. Normally, I would have been much more annoyed about those missing pieces but, instead, I surprised myself with how calm I was—surely a clear indication of how God has changed me. It was as if God was saying, ‘See how far you’ve come? You did you very best with what you had. Well done!’ That picture I managed to put together, even with its three missing pieces, was still excellent—not perfect, but still excellent. After all, I had managed to match up all those pesky, cat-hair pieces with the right cat—quite a feat, in my opinion, and one I thought several times might well be impossible!

We can learn from God through every circumstance in life, big or small. I hope I continue to do this as I walk through the coming year with God—and I hope you can too.

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Romans 12:2a NLT

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Just an old book?

I recently did something I have been putting off for years. With great regret, I at last steeled myself enough to throw my much-loved and much-used NIV bible I have had since somewhere in the middle 1980s into the bin. In one way, it felt as if I was throwing part of me out along with it. My hands had held that deep red cover so often that a lot of the fake leather had worn off and my fingers had turned some of those pages so much that the corners were ripped, with one or two having disappeared altogether.

Now many might think, ‘Why all that fuss? It’s just an old book!’ And at one level, that is true. After all, it is not the book itself that is sacred but rather the words it contains—and they can be found just as well in my brand-new, more recently translated NIV bible I received at Christmas or in any other bible. And yet … and yet …

You see, that old bible symbolised so much to me in so many different ways. It was my companion through countless amazing times in my life, as well as hugely difficult ones. I carted it with me to all sorts of places—on camps and retreats, away on holidays, to lectures at theological college, to nearby parks to sit and reflect, to places where I spoke. When it finally become too risky to use while speaking somewhere because it threatened to fall apart on me, I let it rest on my desk beside my laptop and bought another copy to take with me instead. And there my favourite, old bible has remained for many years now as I have written several more books and many blogs. I have read it each day, then left it lying open so I could look over at any time and be reminded of what God had said to me as I read. And sometimes that re-read turned into a little prayer, either whispered or spoken aloud—perhaps for perseverance in writing or in preparing a message to speak somewhere or as intercession for someone else.

As well as featuring occasional finger-marked and dog-eared corners, some of the pages of that old bible also contained verses I had underlined or highlighted with a little line at the side. At times, I had even put an exclamation mark beside some words that had particularly impacted me or left a brief comment there in tiny letters. And I had read some passages so often that I could visualise where the words I wanted to find were on the page before I even looked them up—so much so that even my other NIV bible of the same vintage did not seem quite right to me at first.

Yet, I know I will soon become used to this other bible now open on my desk. I am familiar with its wording and will keep my more recent Christmas NIV for speaking somewhere. Whichever bible I use, it is still God’s precious Word that I look forward to exploring again in the year ahead and finding great wisdom and encouragement in its pages. And I hope you do too.

Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path. Psalm 119:105

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Splendid isolation

This Christmas and New Year period has been a little different for us. Instead of perhaps catching up with friends or hitting the shops or going anywhere really, we have been at home in splendid isolation. Yep, somehow, we both contracted COVID. We are much better now but, during our time of staying put, we each learnt some interesting things about ourselves.

Of course, there were some foods we found we felt like more than others—and we did have some rather crazy meals, using whatever I could find in the house. For once, I was thankful for my tendency towards having a little too much on hand in my freezer or food cupboard. As a result, we had enough to last us for quite a few days, without resorting to ordering anything in or accessing the help others offered us.

I was happy too just to be quiet at home, edit a friend’s book, work on a jigsaw puzzle, read, watch cricket or tennis on TV—and sleep. I could have done without feeling sick and coughing and sniffling, yet there was still plenty I was able to do. On the other hand, my poor husband, who is much more extrovert than I am, began to become a little stir-crazy and even bored. I felt sorry for him—‘bored’, I realised, is thankfully something I have yet to experience as there is always some new idea in my brain to think or write about.

Needless to say, there were numerous jobs staring me in the face each day that needed to be done. Our Christmas tree was still up and there were other Christmas decorations that needed to be removed. There was the Christmas ham to cut up and do something creative with. There was vacuuming and mopping to do. Yet neither of us had any energy for such things. Now, normally, this would bother me. If I see a job to be done, I like to attend to it as soon as I can. But this time, I decided these things could wait—except perhaps the ham! Right now, our bodies and our health were more important.

But as I sat or lay in our quiet surroundings here, I realised God had things to show me too in this time. For a start, I saw how blessed we are in this country that, even on public holidays, we were able to access the medical help we needed via a teleconsultation and texted prescriptions. I thanked God indeed for such provision. But beyond that, I began to see all over again that, when we feel quite helpless, when we have nothing to offer God or anyone else, God is still there, loving us totally and wanting to reach out and care for us in every way. Here was an opportunity, a window in my life, when, even though feeling unwell, I could draw close to God, receive God’s comfort and healing and be at peace. One day, I read the following words in James’s letter:

Come near to God and he will come near to you. … Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:7. 10

May I continue to do just that as I step into whatever God has ahead for me in the coming year.

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Lifelong lessons

Recently, while taking part in a Christmas carol service, I found myself sitting straight and tall in my seat and automatically taking a deep breath before singing each line. After all, I did not want to gasp for air halfway through—and definitely not halfway through a word as I sometimes hear singers doing on TV and elsewhere. I also tried to sing all the words clearly, even though I was certainly not giving any solo performance. But then I laughed at myself. You see, suddenly I realised that, without any conscious effort on my part, I had slipped back into singing exactly as I had learnt to do over sixty years ago! It all felt so natural—and so wonderfully fulfilling too.

During my middle school years, I belonged to two different choirs. The first was the Queensland Junior Conservatorium Choir which I joined after a nervous audition with the rather scary Director there at the time. In that choir, we learnt so much about the basics of good singing and about performing two-part songs well. The second was the Brisbane Junior Eisteddfod Choir where I ended up in the second soprano section as we sang three-part madrigals, sacred anthems, folksongs and all sorts of other beautiful music. In this choir, I learnt to keep my eyes on the conductor at all times, to listen to the other singers around me and to commit our whole repertoire to memory. We practised long and hard and in a very disciplined way, yet it was all so enjoyable, especially when we staged our own concerts and competed at eisteddfods.

These were the same skills then that popped up all over again, even in a humble little carol service. And I was glad. Perhaps you have experienced something similar in another context—perhaps you may have discovered to your great surprise that you still know how to ride a bike or swim or knit or sew, things you put a lot of effort into learning when very young. What a joy to find you still remember the basics, even if you might be a little rusty on the actual execution of your hard-won skills at this stage!

On the other hand, like me, you may also have other less joyful skills you acquired early on and have honed over the years so that they are second nature now. For me, I suspect they may be things like easily becoming defensive, too readily judging others, finding it difficult to apologise, not caring enough about others—the list goes on. Instead of celebrating these skills and continually resurrecting them, I need to let them disappear forever. And to do that, the best way I have found is to listen to what God says, both in Scripture and directly through the Spirit.

Perhaps you were blessed to learn to do this early on in your life so that it is second nature for you now. Yet this is a lifelong lesson we all need to keep learning, isn’t it? So, in 2023, let’s do exactly this— then faithfully put into practice everything we hear and learn.

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. John 10:27

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. James 1:22

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