The things we do

I suspect all of us can think of times in our lives when we had to do things way outside our comfort zones. Recently, I spoke somewhere on the topic of public speaking itself and was quite shocked at the number of people present who said they hated the thought of ever doing any such thing. Perhaps these people may get by in life without having to speak in public, but probably all of us at some point have had to ask someone for a reference, either written or verbal, in order to apply for a job. This can indeed be scary, can’t it? Just this past week, someone told me how, when she asked a teacher for a reference on leaving school, this teacher told her there was nothing positive she could think to say about her! Oh dear.

There can be many other occasions too when we cringe at doing something which makes us feel quite vulnerable and uncomfortable. Fronting up at job interviews, for example, can be challenging, as can even applying for them, depending on the information we are asked to submit about ourselves and our abilities. Over the years, I have completed a few manuscript submissions to various publishers and initially found it rather daunting to have to ‘sell’ myself in this way, explaining, as requested at times, why they should accept my manuscript over someone else’s and what I could do to ensure my book sold well. In more recent years too, I have often emailed various community groups to let them know I am available as a speaker, should they require one, and have had to overcome the fear that I may sound too pushy or egotistical in the process.

Then there are those times, on completing a non-fiction book in particular, just as I did recently, when I have had to seek out those people willing to endorse my latest offering. Now these requests are indeed ones I mull over many times before pressing that ‘send’ button on such an email! After all, it is a big ask to expect someone in a busy ministry or work role to read one’s manuscript, however well I know them, then write something they are happy for all to read. Besides, what if they don’t like or can’t agree with some things I have written? That could well be embarrassing all round.

I can still cringe now at having to do such tasks, but there are several things these days that eventually help me overcome my reluctance. Firstly, I remind myself that what I have written is something I sensed God wanted me to write—and indeed has given me the ability to write. So, I need to be faithful and obedient and see the project through to completion.

Secondly, in any situation where I could face embarrassment or rejection, I have learnt to take great comfort from the fact that God knows me through and through, accepts me fully, believes in me and loves me with a perfect love that no one can take away from me. I am God’s child. I belong to God who will never reject me. And that changes the whole picture, don’t you think?

I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. Jeremiah 31:3b

Advertisement

How much is too much?

When I was writing all my many essays way back at university and later at college, it was often a dilemma to work out how much of what I wrote came from my own thoughts and how much from books and articles I had read. I remember one of my college lecturers writing on an essay of mine, ‘Cite your sources!’ in big, red letters. Yet, I thought I had done that via my many quotes and footnotes. Was I fooling myself—and even perhaps trying to fool that lecturer, as I felt he was implying? Or had all that reading I had done in preparation for writing my essay become part of my own thinking?

I thought I had left that dilemma behind years ago now. Yet, in writing my current non-fiction manuscript, a similar challenge has emerged, this time concerning the number of Scripture quotes I include in full. How much is too much? What could I perhaps say in my own words instead, simply citing the relevant Bible reference at the end? And how much Bible content is already present in everything I write from my own heart anyway because of the fact that I have read and reflected on the words of Scripture almost every day for so many years now?

Recently, as I read through my whole manuscript again before sending the final version off to the publisher, I decided to remove a number of Bible verses I had included in full. But then I came to a chapter entitled ‘Words of comfort’, then another entitled ‘Words of peace’—and later, one entitled ‘Words of wisdom’. I believe wholeheartedly in the words I myself have written in these chapters and hope they will encourage many. But surely the greatest source of comfort, peace and wisdom is to be found in God’s Word itself as the Spirit speaks through it into the depths of our hearts?

Then one morning while still pondering this issue, I came to Isaiah 40 during my own time of Scripture reading. And there, among so many other strong, beautiful words, I found the following stirring section:

O Jacob, how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles?
    O Israel, how can you say God ignores your rights?
Have you never heard?
    Have you never understood?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of all the earth.
He never grows weak or weary.
    No one can measure the depths of his understanding.
He gives power to the weak
    and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired,
    and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
    They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
    They will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:27-31 NLT

No, I decided, I could not bring myself to cut out any of these words from this blog—or anywhere else really. They are far too powerful and merciful and comforting. They are God’s very words, piercing our hearts and causing the Spirit to rise up in us to enable us to keep going. So, as I write, I will find space for them—and others like them. Such words can surely never be too much.

Peace

Sometimes in the busyness and challenges of life, I find I can lose perspective. I can so easily refuse to see the bigger picture, forget the many challenges I have overcome in the past in God’s strength—and, at times, forget altogether that our all-powerful, all-loving God is with me in every situation, come what may.

I saw this again recently in myself when I received a lovely email from the editorial administrator at the UK publishing house with whom I have a contract for my next non-fiction book. Among other things, she asked me to read the attached twelve-page document outlining their ‘house style’ and to implement it throughout my manuscript. I had already suspected that, being a UK publisher, their opinion on when to use or not to use commas, full stops, italics, quotation marks and other punctuation paraphernalia would differ from mine, but, as soon as I opened the document, the reality and extent of these differences hit with some force.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with their requests. After all, they adhere to the rules in well-respected style manuals and have a responsibility to ensure they produce books of a high standard. It is just that their style differs from what our style manuals here in Australia often suggest. And it also differs at times from the personal, idiosyncratic style I have somehow developed in my years of writing my books and blogs. These have become very ingrained in me, so imagine my shock at having suddenly to change all my thinking, for example, about setting out Bible verses and other quotations, of which there are many in my manuscript! On top of that, my beloved long ‘m dash’ is apparently to be used only when interrupted while speaking. Elsewhere, a spaced ‘n dash’ is required—and that takes a bit of getting used to for me!

I know I will overcome these stylistic challenges as I persevere—and I am well aware they are absolutely nothing, compared with other much, much huger trials in life. Recently, I received an email from a friend with a young family member facing life-threatening health issues for which the doctors seem to have no answers. And I think too right now of the ongoing devastation the people of Turkey and Syria are suffering as a result of the recent horrific earthquakes there. I thought of them all in particular one morning this week as I read the following verses in Scripture:

You will keep in perfect peace
    all who trust in you,
    all whose thoughts are fixed on you!

Trust in the Lord always,
    for the Lord God is the eternal Rock. Isaiah 26:3–4 NLT

How much those Christians in Turkey and Syria desperately need God to be that solid, eternal Rock beneath their feet that no earthquake can shatter. And how much my friend with an ill family member needs that perfect peace right now that Isaiah mentions. Yet, in our little, day-to-day challenges too, even those interesting editing matters, these verses encourage us all to keep our thoughts focused on the Lord and our hearts trusting in him.

I am so grateful I know that, as I do, I will find that peace that passes understanding and stand firm, instead of becoming overwhelmed. And I hope and pray you do too.

Positivity plus

Some people are constantly upbeat. Whatever is happening around them, they seem able to stay positive and cheerful through it all. But for many of us, our emotions can often easily spiral down into gloominess and negativity.

Recently, I received some encouraging news about my latest non-fiction manuscript. A Christian publishing company based overseas advised me they would be delighted to offer me a contract and will publish the book early next year. Because this is my tenth book, I am well aware of issues to be encountered in the publishing journey, so, instead of celebrating and being thankful to God, my mind immediately took the negative path. What will this publisher be like to work with? Will they want to change things too much? How well will they distribute my book? I began to question myself too. Have they made a big mistake? How will I sell the thousands of copies they no doubt expect me to sell?

I have overcome this negative slump now—well, mostly anyway! But around this time, I happened to visit my hairdresser. She asked me how my writing was going and, when I told her about my contract, was immediately super-enthusiastic.

‘Well, that’s wonderful! What’s the book about? … Wow, I reckon you’re on a winner there. It’s something we all should think about—I’ll buy a copy, for sure!’

That same morning, I also ran into a lady I had not seen for some time who I knew had had serious health issues. She is well into her nineties and uses a walker to make her way round but she seemed so bright and alert. Before I could say anything, she too plied me with questions about my writing and speaking and was so excited to hear my news.

‘But how are you going?’ I finally managed to ask her.

‘Oh, I’m riddled with cancer—I have it all over my body!’ she told me in a matter-of-fact way. ‘That includes my head, but somehow this old brain still seems to work. I can’t sing anymore, even though I used to sing everywhere and win awards, but I can still talk and think!’

I was staggered at the positive attitude that exuded from her. After talking with me, she went on to chat and joke with others nearby, making her way along like an inquisitive, little bird. Yes, such positivity can be fake and gratingly shallow at times, but this lady’s seemed so genuine and deep.  What a challenge to me when I had so little to complain about and, instead, so much to celebrate!

Sometimes we may need help from others when we go through dark, depressing periods. Yet, as far as my negativity is concerned, I know I need to focus on all I have in God instead and remember how blessed I am. This past week, I read a section in Isaiah where he declares to the surrounding nations that their attempts to conquer God’s people will come to nothing.

Devise your strategy, but it will be thwarted; propose your plan, but it will not stand, for God is with us. Isaiah 8:10

God is with us. God is with us! What more do I need to know to be at peace and to approach life in a much more positive, gratitude-filled way?

Frustration or invitation?

I don’t know about you, but I can quickly become frustrated when something does not work out as I envisaged. It can be as mundane as having to stop to clean up something I have spilt or having to wait in a long, slow queue at the supermarket checkout or being held up in heavy traffic. I am aware I should take such simple setbacks in my stride but, instead, I can allow them to affect me far too much.

Recently, I was a little shocked at how frustrated I became at the chain of events that ensued when I arrived to speak somewhere. After some hassles in finding the right place, I then had difficulty working out which way to exit the multi-storey car park beside the venue with my books, laptop and other paraphernalia. Next, I had to wait some time while the front desk person dealt with another lady. Soon after, I discovered I could not quickly set out my book display or connect my laptop for my power point presentation because there was an important committee meeting happening in the designated meeting room. Then, even with a tech expert helping, my power point presentation would not work at first—and when it did, this expert then decided to move my laptop to the front of the room, at which point, the presentation decided not to work again! Eventually, at the last minute, just when I had decided I would speak to the assembled audience without my slides, we solved the problem and, voila, I could finally begin my talk!

Perhaps this was why, as I settled myself the next morning for my time of reading Scripture and reflection, during which I currently listen to an excellent free online devotional resource (Lectio 365), I sat up abruptly when I heard the following read out in the middle of a prayer:

I choose to welcome frustration as an invitation to grace.

Hmm … I certainly had not chosen to do that the previous day. Yes, I had prayed everything would work out but I had not even thought to include grace in my responses in any further way. What if I had been more gracious in my attitude, both inward and outward, towards those committee members who took so long to finish their meeting or those who tried to help with my power point presentation? I spoke politely to them but I am sure my irritation showed, at least a little. What if I had been more gracious to myself too in the process, fretted less and listened more when a kind gentleman present told me to relax? Most importantly, what if I had actually recognised and rested more in God’s grace to care for me through it all?

Eventually, I decided to pray that prayer myself from the heart, asking God to help me see the frustrations in life, big and small, more often as invitations to grace in every way and to be more at peace in general as a beloved child of God. When we remember the grace we have received and continue to receive, then we can truly extend that grace so much more easily to others, don’t you think?

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9a

Remembering the basics

It is strange how easily we forget those simple strategies that can help us so much in life, isn’t it? We may decide, for example, that some sort of daily exercise benefits our health but, before long, we let this practice slip. We may realise that sitting at a computer too long after dinner can rob us of a good night’s sleep, yet I at least still choose to do that often, even though I know it will be hard to let go of all those ideas swarming around in my brain. Time and time again, we can so easily push to one side those wise, practical ways we know are right and, instead, choose a path we may later regret.

I was reminded of all this recently when I visited my old physio for some help with managing my sore shoulders better. He questioned me about my posture as I sit and type at my desk, often for hours each day, and I soon realised that, while I had remembered some basic things to watch, I had clearly forgotten others. Yes, I have a good desk chair, I told him. Yes, I sit close to my keyboard so that I can type with my elbows touching my body, with my computer screen at eye level. But no, I often sit with my legs crossed instead of keeping my feet flat on the floor. And my husband has told me many times that I sit hunched over at my computer, with my neck craned forward as I peer at that screen.

In one way, I was relieved my shoulder issues were not due merely to old age! But in another, I was annoyed I had fallen into such silly habits. It can be an uncomfortable place to be when we have no one but ourselves to blame for the things that happen to us! Now, each time I sit down at my desk, I try to remember to check my posture, to square my shoulders regularly and roll them around to get rid of any tension. And I also do those basic exercises my physio gave me three times a day.

All this has caused me to reflect on other parts of my life too. How easy I find it each day to see the emails on my computer waiting to be answered or those posts or blogs waiting to be written or read and launch into tackling them straight away, without stopping to reflect with God on the day ahead. How easy it can be for me too to fall into old habits of worrying about things rather than praying and trusting God with them. How easy it can be for all of us, it seems to me, to forget God’s amazing love for us, feel we are alone in our battles, lean on our own strength and forge ahead as if everything is up to us.

Instead, may we each stop, remember the basics of who we are in God and consciously rest in God’s love once again as we step into our day—and into whatever our future may hold.

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!  And that is what we are! 1 John 3:1

Kids or adults?

We sat on our kitchen floor together, nail polish and cotton wool balls nearby. As a holiday activity, our granddaughter Maxine had decided to paint her grandmother’s toenails—so who was I to complain? It is something I rarely get around to doing, after all. Besides, I knew Maxine would have watched her beauty therapist mum do it many times. And if the end result did not turn out well, then there was always that bottle of nail polish remover in the cupboard!

‘Do you give massages too like Mummy does, Maxine?’ my husband asked at one stage.

‘No,’ she responded, with a decided shake of her head. ‘They’re not my thing. Nails are my thing!’

I tried not to laugh out loud, even though Maxine’s response was something I would have expected from someone at least ten years older than the eight-year-old sitting in front of me and holding my feet so gently.

In the end, she did an excellent job. But around a week later, I saw again how good Maxine can be at sounding so much older than her years, whether intentionally or unintentionally.

‘So … who is your new teacher this year?’ I asked her as we picked her brother and her up during the first week of school to mind them for the afternoon.

‘It’s Mr A ….!’ she told us in pleased voice. ‘This is the first man teacher I’ve had in my life!’

Again, I tried not to laugh. After all, Maxine has not had any vast experience of teachers, male or female, being only in Year Four. Once again, she had sounded so much older than her eight years to me.

That same day at home, however, I watched as Maxine went from one fun activity to another as any eight-year-old would. She bounced away on the trampoline. She rode her scooter. She revelled in playing hide-and-seek. She watched a kids’ TV show. And she responded as probably many other competitive eight-year-olds would too by flouncing away and refusing to play when her older brother beat her at a particularly annoying board game! Yep, one minute Maxine can act like an adult but at another definitely like any little, eight-year-old girl.

Later, I began to wonder how many ‘grown-ups’, myself included, seem quite able to do the very opposite of what Maxine does. Rather than acting like adults, we can end up behaving much more like babies on occasions. If things don’t happen to go my way in life, I can sometimes rant and rave for quite a while—well, at least inwardly if not outwardly! And I can easily settle for functioning like a child as far as the things of God are concerned too. Rather than displaying the maturity I should have by this stage, I can act like those early believers who still preferred milk rather than the solid food needed to help them become firmer in their faith (Hebrews 5:11-12).

In 2023, I want to grow even more in my faith, don’t you? Yes, as children of God, it’s important to hold onto our childlike trust in our heavenly Father, but let’s seek to become the mature adult believers we are called to be too.

But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. 2 Peter 3:18

Keeping the main thing the main thing

While celebrating my birthday recently, I began reflecting even more than usual on all those years that have passed since I was born. Where have they gone—and what have I achieved in the time allotted to me? Perhaps this is a sign of impending old age—because, of course, I have not as yet reached that part of my life, whatever my children and grandchildren might say!

This introspection may also have been fuelled by the fact that I recently completed writing my tenth full-length book. For me, this represents around 850,000 words that have flowed onto my computer screen over the last fifteen years or so. Added to that, I have also written about 440,000 words in the hundreds of blogs on my own site, as well as others for writers and readers. Could it perhaps be time to write—and speak—a little less?

But then I came across the following verse I have thought about often:

Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. 1 Peter 4:10

Throughout my life, everything I have been able to do that has served others in some way has been a gift from God. My task has been, and still is, to be faithful in using those gifts to the best of my ability, whatever my age. And that puts a whole different slant on everything we do, don’t you think?

Over the next few days, I read on and eventually came to a chapter in Peter’s 2^nd letter headed ‘The Day of the Lord’. There I found several verses that made me stop and take stock of my life even more carefully:

But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. … So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him. 2 Peter 3: 8-10a, 14

I kept reading on into the next letter in my bible, this time written by the Apostle John. And there I found a similar command:

And now, dear children, continue in him, so that when he appears we may be confident and unashamed before him at his coming. 1 John 2:28

Yes, God has reached out to us with such grace and mercy. We don’t have to earn our way into God’s family—all we need to do is believe fully in Jesus Christ. But we need to continue being faithful in using whatever gifts we have to bless others. And we need to seek to remain at peace with him, ready to meet him whenever that day comes.

While we still can, let’s love and serve God with all our hearts. The way we do this may well change with the years, but let’s stay focused on the Lord and keep the main thing the main thing—to the very end.

The best attitude

I wonder if you can think of a time when someone treated you or spoke to you in a way that made you feel particularly valued and respected. I am thankful to say I can. Perhaps you have had the opposite experience too, however, as I have once or twice, causing you to feel more than a little used or worthless.

Many moons ago, I worked as a casual teacher in various nearby Sydney high schools. Some of these experiences were excellent, but others were far less enjoyable, to say the least! At one school, I asked a girl standing nearby as politely as I could if she would mind moving a chair that was in everyone’s way.

‘Move it yourself!’ she snapped back in a very surly manner. ‘That’s what you’re paid to do!’

At another school, after filling in for a few days in the History Department, I was asked to stay on longer as they had discovered the teacher I was replacing would be away for some time. Not wanting her classes to get behind, I asked the subject master, whose role was to help his staff, for advice on what to teach the classes. I was happy to put in the extra effort required rather than merely babysit them but, since I usually taught Languages, felt a little at sea.

‘Work it out yourself!’ he responded in an angry, abrupt way. ‘That’s what you’re paid for!’

In the end, I did. But I also eventually reported him to the Principal—and never returned to the History Department of that school.

On the other hand, I have experienced some wonderful moments when I have felt so valued and respected. I think of one occasion early on in my writing journey when I was invited to speak at a well-attended women’s breakfast. From the outset, I felt so well cared for. Someone volunteered to sell my books on my behalf so I could focus on speaking. There was a prayer team ready to pray alongside me for others afterwards. And later, I discovered this church had given me what I felt was an embarrassingly generous monetary gift for coming and speaking.

Only recently too, I came away from an online interview with a potential publisher feeling unusually warmed and respected. Later, I realised why. I had been listened to well, had been given time to ask my own questions and, in general, had been treated with kindness and professionalism. What a joy!

This past week, I noticed a simple, little statement in one of Peter’s letters to the early believers that, while clearly being directed at Christian slaves, surely applies to us all today too.

Show proper respect to everyone. 1 Peter 2:17a

No, this is not a command for us to let others ride over us roughshod and rush to do everyone’s bidding. Instead, it should remind us to see others, whoever they are and whether we like or agree with them or not, as human beings created in the image of God, as those loved by God equally as much as we are, as those who have gifts to offer, as those who may well long to feel honoured, respected and loved.

Don’t you feel this is the best attitude to have as we walk this earth together?

An interesting learning experience

Recently while at home recovering from Covid, I decided to tackle a jigsaw puzzle belonging to our daughter. Now, I am not usually a fan of such things. After all, why put ourselves through such torture to create a picture we can already see, only to pull it all apart when we finish?

I persevered for days with those thousand little pieces—at least, there should have been a thousand! Towards the end, I began to suspect I had lost a few—and, alas, I was right. Months earlier, our youngest granddaughter had helped me find all the edge pieces but had soon given up. In haste, I had bundled the puzzle back in the box, thinking we had not dropped any. Yet, days later, I can vaguely remember finding an odd piece or two on our carpet. Perhaps our vacuum cleaner had swallowed up even more pieces?

Whatever the case, when nearing the end of the puzzle, I realised none of those remaining pieces looked anything like the three I needed. However, I decided to keep going—and I’m glad I did.  Yes, finishing with an incomplete picture was disappointing. Yet in the process, I made some interesting discoveries.

For a start, I can now admit there may be something exciting and perhaps even addictive about finding the right piece, seeing it fit perfectly and watching that picture grow! This involved using a different part of my brain from that which I need when writing—a novel and refreshing experience indeed.

Then, to my surprise, I also discovered I could actually find the patience and perseverance required to complete this puzzle. Time and time again, I thought I had found the right piece, only for my hopes to be dashed—yet I was able to keep on trying. Perhaps this has to do with all the patience and perseverance God enabled me to have in recent years as I wrote and re-wrote and edited and re-edited entire manuscripts time and time again. And as I thought about this and thanked God for it all, I was also thankful for God’s own patience and perseverance with me over so many years.

My biggest discovery, however, was to realise how much unnecessary angst my perfectionist tendencies have often caused. Normally, I would have been much more annoyed about those missing pieces but, instead, I surprised myself with how calm I was—surely a clear indication of how God has changed me. It was as if God was saying, ‘See how far you’ve come? You did you very best with what you had. Well done!’ That picture I managed to put together, even with its three missing pieces, was still excellent—not perfect, but still excellent. After all, I had managed to match up all those pesky, cat-hair pieces with the right cat—quite a feat, in my opinion, and one I thought several times might well be impossible!

We can learn from God through every circumstance in life, big or small. I hope I continue to do this as I walk through the coming year with God—and I hope you can too.

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Romans 12:2a NLT