So many years

When out on our balcony recently, I happened to notice something strange on a long frond of my orchid plant. Thinking it was perhaps an insect, I gingerly picked up the pot to investigate, then almost dropped it—because that ‘something strange’ turned out to be actual orchid flowers. What an event in this household!

The reason for my surprise was that a friend bought me this particular orchid plant at least five years ago, maybe more. I had given up ever seeing any actual orchids on it but wanted to keep it anyway. And there it was now, with its beautiful little deep pink blooms proudly on display at the end of what looked to me like a very dead orchid frond.

Immediately, I connected this lovely image with a recent event in my own life. Earlier this year, I received a contract from Authentic Media in the UK for my third non-fiction book, Swansong: Start creating your legacy of life-giving words today. Since then, I have connected several times via email and Teams video with the lovely staff there who have all been so helpful. Recently, they mentioned they would contact some possible UK endorsers of the book to add to my list of Australian endorsers. In return, I commented that one of my endorsers also ministers in the UK so I would see if he could suggest any other possible UK endorsers too.

Now this man has been a friend since 1985—almost forty years. He has already helped me in significant ways in the past, including endorsing all three of my non-fiction books. I felt so reluctant to bother him with yet another request but sensed I should go ahead anyway and email him.

In a matter of moments, he responded. Yes, he told me, two names of friends who are well-known Christian leaders in the UK had come to mind and he would email them both on my behalf. Then, later that day, I received two further emails from him telling me both these men were happy to read and hopefully endorse my book and introducing me to each of them.

I speedily followed up these leads myself and sent off my manuscript to both gentlemen. Then I sat back and reflected in amazement at how, even after all these years, my Australian endorser friend was able to provide such strategic connections for me—and was still prepared to do so. We have seen each other only once face-to-face in the past ten years, from memory. Yet out of the blue, this man has helped me once again—and in such an amazing way. Just like those orchids seemed to appear out of nowhere after so many years, so God seemed to whip up this wonderful support out of nowhere too, courtesy of my friend.

Sometimes, we may feel something is never, ever going to happen. Sometimes we can lose heart—and lose sight of how amazing our God is. Instead, may we keep trusting and listening to our loving Lord who is always there, longing to bless and provide for us in wonderful ways.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
    do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
    and he will show you which path to take.  Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT

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Reflecting

Currently, I am working on yet another interesting literary project. I have been writing weekly blogs since mid-2009 and have been asked several times whether I would consider compiling these into some sort of book. Finally, I decided to bite the bullet and began to read through them all, in order to select which might possibly be suitable to include in such a volume. This is no light task since it involves reading over 770 blogs, each about 550-560 words long. Nor is it an easy one because I have needed to make all sorts of decisions, big and small, along the way. Yet it has also been fascinating indeed to look at all those thoughts and experiences again and reflect on my journey with God over these past fourteen years.

When I began blogging in 2009, I had written three novels, with two already published and a third about to be. I had also ventured further into speaking at all sorts of events, both Christian and secular. I still had much to learn about writing and about engaging widely differing audiences in a positive, helpful way. And I was still working through much on a personal level as well, particularly concerning my faith in God and my understanding and acceptance of who God had created me to be. Perhaps you can imagine then what an interesting and sometimes exhausting journey it has been as I have ploughed through all those blogs and watched myself grow and struggle and stumble and pick myself up and grow some more. I have re-lived many events I had almost forgotten about, some happy and some sad. I have revisited various ideas and understanding of Scripture I included in these blogs and allowed God’s Spirit to speak to me afresh about it all. I have reflected long and hard once again about many things—and I am not done yet.

You see, once I had selected out the various blogs I considered might be most suitable to include, I now need to read each one carefully yet again on various levels. Will the particular blog topic still appeal to a wide range of possible readers? Is the blog itself clearly and well written? Is it too short? Is it too long? Is it too personal? Do names of people or events need to be removed? Are the Scripture verses quoted appropriate and correctly used? Once these decisions are made, I then need to edit each blog carefully or, in some instances, almost completely rewrite it.

At this point, I am still a little unsure whether this whole project will in fact end up in book form. Yet, whether it does or not, I believe all my efforts have already been so valuable because they have shown me yet again the utter faithfulness of God in my life. Through so many varied times of joy, of grief, of hope, of disappointment, of challenge, of fulfilment, of change, God has been there, guiding and guarding me, comforting me and rejoicing with me. God’s loving arms have held me close through it all, even when I was unaware of this—and I am blessed indeed.

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23

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The things we do

I suspect all of us can think of times in our lives when we had to do things way outside our comfort zones. Recently, I spoke somewhere on the topic of public speaking itself and was quite shocked at the number of people present who said they hated the thought of ever doing any such thing. Perhaps these people may get by in life without having to speak in public, but probably all of us at some point have had to ask someone for a reference, either written or verbal, in order to apply for a job. This can indeed be scary, can’t it? Just this past week, someone told me how, when she asked a teacher for a reference on leaving school, this teacher told her there was nothing positive she could think to say about her! Oh dear.

There can be many other occasions too when we cringe at doing something which makes us feel quite vulnerable and uncomfortable. Fronting up at job interviews, for example, can be challenging, as can even applying for them, depending on the information we are asked to submit about ourselves and our abilities. Over the years, I have completed a few manuscript submissions to various publishers and initially found it rather daunting to have to ‘sell’ myself in this way, explaining, as requested at times, why they should accept my manuscript over someone else’s and what I could do to ensure my book sold well. In more recent years too, I have often emailed various community groups to let them know I am available as a speaker, should they require one, and have had to overcome the fear that I may sound too pushy or egotistical in the process.

Then there are those times, on completing a non-fiction book in particular, just as I did recently, when I have had to seek out those people willing to endorse my latest offering. Now these requests are indeed ones I mull over many times before pressing that ‘send’ button on such an email! After all, it is a big ask to expect someone in a busy ministry or work role to read one’s manuscript, however well I know them, then write something they are happy for all to read. Besides, what if they don’t like or can’t agree with some things I have written? That could well be embarrassing all round.

I can still cringe now at having to do such tasks, but there are several things these days that eventually help me overcome my reluctance. Firstly, I remind myself that what I have written is something I sensed God wanted me to write—and indeed has given me the ability to write. So, I need to be faithful and obedient and see the project through to completion.

Secondly, in any situation where I could face embarrassment or rejection, I have learnt to take great comfort from the fact that God knows me through and through, accepts me fully, believes in me and loves me with a perfect love that no one can take away from me. I am God’s child. I belong to God who will never reject me. And that changes the whole picture, don’t you think?

I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. Jeremiah 31:3b

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How much is too much?

When I was writing all my many essays way back at university and later at college, it was often a dilemma to work out how much of what I wrote came from my own thoughts and how much from books and articles I had read. I remember one of my college lecturers writing on an essay of mine, ‘Cite your sources!’ in big, red letters. Yet, I thought I had done that via my many quotes and footnotes. Was I fooling myself—and even perhaps trying to fool that lecturer, as I felt he was implying? Or had all that reading I had done in preparation for writing my essay become part of my own thinking?

I thought I had left that dilemma behind years ago now. Yet, in writing my current non-fiction manuscript, a similar challenge has emerged, this time concerning the number of Scripture quotes I include in full. How much is too much? What could I perhaps say in my own words instead, simply citing the relevant Bible reference at the end? And how much Bible content is already present in everything I write from my own heart anyway because of the fact that I have read and reflected on the words of Scripture almost every day for so many years now?

Recently, as I read through my whole manuscript again before sending the final version off to the publisher, I decided to remove a number of Bible verses I had included in full. But then I came to a chapter entitled ‘Words of comfort’, then another entitled ‘Words of peace’—and later, one entitled ‘Words of wisdom’. I believe wholeheartedly in the words I myself have written in these chapters and hope they will encourage many. But surely the greatest source of comfort, peace and wisdom is to be found in God’s Word itself as the Spirit speaks through it into the depths of our hearts?

Then one morning while still pondering this issue, I came to Isaiah 40 during my own time of Scripture reading. And there, among so many other strong, beautiful words, I found the following stirring section:

O Jacob, how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles?
    O Israel, how can you say God ignores your rights?
Have you never heard?
    Have you never understood?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of all the earth.
He never grows weak or weary.
    No one can measure the depths of his understanding.
He gives power to the weak
    and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired,
    and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
    They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
    They will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:27-31 NLT

No, I decided, I could not bring myself to cut out any of these words from this blog—or anywhere else really. They are far too powerful and merciful and comforting. They are God’s very words, piercing our hearts and causing the Spirit to rise up in us to enable us to keep going. So, as I write, I will find space for them—and others like them. Such words can surely never be too much.

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Peace

Sometimes in the busyness and challenges of life, I find I can lose perspective. I can so easily refuse to see the bigger picture, forget the many challenges I have overcome in the past in God’s strength—and, at times, forget altogether that our all-powerful, all-loving God is with me in every situation, come what may.

I saw this again recently in myself when I received a lovely email from the editorial administrator at the UK publishing house with whom I have a contract for my next non-fiction book. Among other things, she asked me to read the attached twelve-page document outlining their ‘house style’ and to implement it throughout my manuscript. I had already suspected that, being a UK publisher, their opinion on when to use or not to use commas, full stops, italics, quotation marks and other punctuation paraphernalia would differ from mine, but, as soon as I opened the document, the reality and extent of these differences hit with some force.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with their requests. After all, they adhere to the rules in well-respected style manuals and have a responsibility to ensure they produce books of a high standard. It is just that their style differs from what our style manuals here in Australia often suggest. And it also differs at times from the personal, idiosyncratic style I have somehow developed in my years of writing my books and blogs. These have become very ingrained in me, so imagine my shock at having suddenly to change all my thinking, for example, about setting out Bible verses and other quotations, of which there are many in my manuscript! On top of that, my beloved long ‘m dash’ is apparently to be used only when interrupted while speaking. Elsewhere, a spaced ‘n dash’ is required—and that takes a bit of getting used to for me!

I know I will overcome these stylistic challenges as I persevere—and I am well aware they are absolutely nothing, compared with other much, much huger trials in life. Recently, I received an email from a friend with a young family member facing life-threatening health issues for which the doctors seem to have no answers. And I think too right now of the ongoing devastation the people of Turkey and Syria are suffering as a result of the recent horrific earthquakes there. I thought of them all in particular one morning this week as I read the following verses in Scripture:

You will keep in perfect peace
    all who trust in you,
    all whose thoughts are fixed on you!

Trust in the Lord always,
    for the Lord God is the eternal Rock. Isaiah 26:3–4 NLT

How much those Christians in Turkey and Syria desperately need God to be that solid, eternal Rock beneath their feet that no earthquake can shatter. And how much my friend with an ill family member needs that perfect peace right now that Isaiah mentions. Yet, in our little, day-to-day challenges too, even those interesting editing matters, these verses encourage us all to keep our thoughts focused on the Lord and our hearts trusting in him.

I am so grateful I know that, as I do, I will find that peace that passes understanding and stand firm, instead of becoming overwhelmed. And I hope and pray you do too.

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Positivity plus

Some people are constantly upbeat. Whatever is happening around them, they seem able to stay positive and cheerful through it all. But for many of us, our emotions can often easily spiral down into gloominess and negativity.

Recently, I received some encouraging news about my latest non-fiction manuscript. A Christian publishing company based overseas advised me they would be delighted to offer me a contract and will publish the book early next year. Because this is my tenth book, I am well aware of issues to be encountered in the publishing journey, so, instead of celebrating and being thankful to God, my mind immediately took the negative path. What will this publisher be like to work with? Will they want to change things too much? How well will they distribute my book? I began to question myself too. Have they made a big mistake? How will I sell the thousands of copies they no doubt expect me to sell?

I have overcome this negative slump now—well, mostly anyway! But around this time, I happened to visit my hairdresser. She asked me how my writing was going and, when I told her about my contract, was immediately super-enthusiastic.

‘Well, that’s wonderful! What’s the book about? … Wow, I reckon you’re on a winner there. It’s something we all should think about—I’ll buy a copy, for sure!’

That same morning, I also ran into a lady I had not seen for some time who I knew had had serious health issues. She is well into her nineties and uses a walker to make her way round but she seemed so bright and alert. Before I could say anything, she too plied me with questions about my writing and speaking and was so excited to hear my news.

‘But how are you going?’ I finally managed to ask her.

‘Oh, I’m riddled with cancer—I have it all over my body!’ she told me in a matter-of-fact way. ‘That includes my head, but somehow this old brain still seems to work. I can’t sing anymore, even though I used to sing everywhere and win awards, but I can still talk and think!’

I was staggered at the positive attitude that exuded from her. After talking with me, she went on to chat and joke with others nearby, making her way along like an inquisitive, little bird. Yes, such positivity can be fake and gratingly shallow at times, but this lady’s seemed so genuine and deep.  What a challenge to me when I had so little to complain about and, instead, so much to celebrate!

Sometimes we may need help from others when we go through dark, depressing periods. Yet, as far as my negativity is concerned, I know I need to focus on all I have in God instead and remember how blessed I am. This past week, I read a section in Isaiah where he declares to the surrounding nations that their attempts to conquer God’s people will come to nothing.

Devise your strategy, but it will be thwarted; propose your plan, but it will not stand, for God is with us. Isaiah 8:10

God is with us. God is with us! What more do I need to know to be at peace and to approach life in a much more positive, gratitude-filled way?

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Keeping the main thing the main thing

While celebrating my birthday recently, I began reflecting even more than usual on all those years that have passed since I was born. Where have they gone—and what have I achieved in the time allotted to me? Perhaps this is a sign of impending old age—because, of course, I have not as yet reached that part of my life, whatever my children and grandchildren might say!

This introspection may also have been fuelled by the fact that I recently completed writing my tenth full-length book. For me, this represents around 850,000 words that have flowed onto my computer screen over the last fifteen years or so. Added to that, I have also written about 440,000 words in the hundreds of blogs on my own site, as well as others for writers and readers. Could it perhaps be time to write—and speak—a little less?

But then I came across the following verse I have thought about often:

Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. 1 Peter 4:10

Throughout my life, everything I have been able to do that has served others in some way has been a gift from God. My task has been, and still is, to be faithful in using those gifts to the best of my ability, whatever my age. And that puts a whole different slant on everything we do, don’t you think?

Over the next few days, I read on and eventually came to a chapter in Peter’s 2^nd letter headed ‘The Day of the Lord’. There I found several verses that made me stop and take stock of my life even more carefully:

But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. … So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him. 2 Peter 3: 8-10a, 14

I kept reading on into the next letter in my bible, this time written by the Apostle John. And there I found a similar command:

And now, dear children, continue in him, so that when he appears we may be confident and unashamed before him at his coming. 1 John 2:28

Yes, God has reached out to us with such grace and mercy. We don’t have to earn our way into God’s family—all we need to do is believe fully in Jesus Christ. But we need to continue being faithful in using whatever gifts we have to bless others. And we need to seek to remain at peace with him, ready to meet him whenever that day comes.

While we still can, let’s love and serve God with all our hearts. The way we do this may well change with the years, but let’s stay focused on the Lord and keep the main thing the main thing—to the very end.

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The best attitude

I wonder if you can think of a time when someone treated you or spoke to you in a way that made you feel particularly valued and respected. I am thankful to say I can. Perhaps you have had the opposite experience too, however, as I have once or twice, causing you to feel more than a little used or worthless.

Many moons ago, I worked as a casual teacher in various nearby Sydney high schools. Some of these experiences were excellent, but others were far less enjoyable, to say the least! At one school, I asked a girl standing nearby as politely as I could if she would mind moving a chair that was in everyone’s way.

‘Move it yourself!’ she snapped back in a very surly manner. ‘That’s what you’re paid to do!’

At another school, after filling in for a few days in the History Department, I was asked to stay on longer as they had discovered the teacher I was replacing would be away for some time. Not wanting her classes to get behind, I asked the subject master, whose role was to help his staff, for advice on what to teach the classes. I was happy to put in the extra effort required rather than merely babysit them but, since I usually taught Languages, felt a little at sea.

‘Work it out yourself!’ he responded in an angry, abrupt way. ‘That’s what you’re paid for!’

In the end, I did. But I also eventually reported him to the Principal—and never returned to the History Department of that school.

On the other hand, I have experienced some wonderful moments when I have felt so valued and respected. I think of one occasion early on in my writing journey when I was invited to speak at a well-attended women’s breakfast. From the outset, I felt so well cared for. Someone volunteered to sell my books on my behalf so I could focus on speaking. There was a prayer team ready to pray alongside me for others afterwards. And later, I discovered this church had given me what I felt was an embarrassingly generous monetary gift for coming and speaking.

Only recently too, I came away from an online interview with a potential publisher feeling unusually warmed and respected. Later, I realised why. I had been listened to well, had been given time to ask my own questions and, in general, had been treated with kindness and professionalism. What a joy!

This past week, I noticed a simple, little statement in one of Peter’s letters to the early believers that, while clearly being directed at Christian slaves, surely applies to us all today too.

Show proper respect to everyone. 1 Peter 2:17a

No, this is not a command for us to let others ride over us roughshod and rush to do everyone’s bidding. Instead, it should remind us to see others, whoever they are and whether we like or agree with them or not, as human beings created in the image of God, as those loved by God equally as much as we are, as those who have gifts to offer, as those who may well long to feel honoured, respected and loved.

Don’t you feel this is the best attitude to have as we walk this earth together?

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An interesting learning experience

Recently while at home recovering from Covid, I decided to tackle a jigsaw puzzle belonging to our daughter. Now, I am not usually a fan of such things. After all, why put ourselves through such torture to create a picture we can already see, only to pull it all apart when we finish?

I persevered for days with those thousand little pieces—at least, there should have been a thousand! Towards the end, I began to suspect I had lost a few—and, alas, I was right. Months earlier, our youngest granddaughter had helped me find all the edge pieces but had soon given up. In haste, I had bundled the puzzle back in the box, thinking we had not dropped any. Yet, days later, I can vaguely remember finding an odd piece or two on our carpet. Perhaps our vacuum cleaner had swallowed up even more pieces?

Whatever the case, when nearing the end of the puzzle, I realised none of those remaining pieces looked anything like the three I needed. However, I decided to keep going—and I’m glad I did.  Yes, finishing with an incomplete picture was disappointing. Yet in the process, I made some interesting discoveries.

For a start, I can now admit there may be something exciting and perhaps even addictive about finding the right piece, seeing it fit perfectly and watching that picture grow! This involved using a different part of my brain from that which I need when writing—a novel and refreshing experience indeed.

Then, to my surprise, I also discovered I could actually find the patience and perseverance required to complete this puzzle. Time and time again, I thought I had found the right piece, only for my hopes to be dashed—yet I was able to keep on trying. Perhaps this has to do with all the patience and perseverance God enabled me to have in recent years as I wrote and re-wrote and edited and re-edited entire manuscripts time and time again. And as I thought about this and thanked God for it all, I was also thankful for God’s own patience and perseverance with me over so many years.

My biggest discovery, however, was to realise how much unnecessary angst my perfectionist tendencies have often caused. Normally, I would have been much more annoyed about those missing pieces but, instead, I surprised myself with how calm I was—surely a clear indication of how God has changed me. It was as if God was saying, ‘See how far you’ve come? You did you very best with what you had. Well done!’ That picture I managed to put together, even with its three missing pieces, was still excellent—not perfect, but still excellent. After all, I had managed to match up all those pesky, cat-hair pieces with the right cat—quite a feat, in my opinion, and one I thought several times might well be impossible!

We can learn from God through every circumstance in life, big or small. I hope I continue to do this as I walk through the coming year with God—and I hope you can too.

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Romans 12:2a NLT

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Peace

I wonder if any of you tend to feel a little low at this time of year, despite all those lovely Christmas celebrations and gatherings with family and friends. This is something I have often experienced, especially if my year has been particularly busy or particularly draining in some way.

I remember how my special ‘soul friend’ Joy used to encourage me at such times to listen to my body and take note of what it was telling me. Perhaps I needed physical rest. Perhaps mental relaxation. Perhaps a lifting of emotional burdens—those I carried for others as well as my own. Perhaps I needed spiritual refreshment. Or perhaps it was all of the above. Some of us keep going, don’t we, always tackling that next job or seeing things we feel we should do? No wonder we can end up a little exhausted and spent as our year draws to a close.

So, each year around this time, I try to step back a little and view my year past from a distance, so to speak. Yes, there were those many things I could have done better. And yes, there were those opportunities I did not fully grasp or take up at all, for some reason. Yet there were also those times when I did listen and do what I sensed God was calling me to do. There were those many rewarding moments when I spoke somewhere and sensed God used me in the process, when I completed writing or editing a manuscript after much effort, when I wrote blogs that touched others, when I was able to bless others by serving them in some way. What a relief, however, to know God longs to reach out to me with forgiveness and compassion, despite those apparent failures of mine, and also delights to celebrate and rejoice with me in my successes and achievements!

Whatever has happened this past year then, I can be at peace. And I can stay in that place of peace too as I step into whatever God has for me in the new year. After all, God’s heart in sending Jesus Christ to us was indeed to give us deep peace, not only in our lives here and now but also concerning the life to come. In Zechariah’s song in Luke 1:76-79, we see that John the Baptist’s role was to prepare the way for Jesus through calling the people to repent and receive God’s mercy—that mercy that would culminate in sending Jesus, the ‘rising sun’ to us from heaven:

 … to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace.”

Then there are also the angels’ wonderful words of declaration to the shepherds, speaking out hope and peace for us all:

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,“Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favour rests.” Luke 2:14

As we contemplate the year that has passed then, may we each sense God’s favour and peace deep in our hearts. And in the new year to come, may our feet easily find that path of peace God has for each one of us to take.

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