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Posts Tagged ‘dealing with anxiety’

They can slide off our lips before we know it, can’t they? Perhaps they are spoken in a flash of anger or irritation. Or perhaps they slip out in a thoughtless moment when our minds are elsewhere. Whatever the case, those reckless words we say can leave their mark for a very long time—as can those others have said to us.

Recently, I listened and watched, heart in mouth, as someone made a remark to another that was meant to be kind. Unfortunately, they had forgotten how much the other person hated such comments. A moment later, I watched the facial expressions of both parties change. One looked horrified and remorseful, as if they would give anything to take their words back, while the other looked more than a little exasperated and even angry. Immediately, I felt sorry for them both. I tried my best to smooth things over and change the topic of conversation, but was only partly successful. Those words had been said—the damage had been done.

Sometimes, however, we may speak to wound on purpose. I still remember clearly an occasion years ago when I spoke rashly in anger, unconcerned at how hurtful my words might be to the person they were aimed at. In that instant, all I wanted to do was lash out, determined to defend myself and get my point across. Later, I regretted it, although my opinion on the matter under discussion did not change. I apologised—and so did the other person. But ground was lost in the process. And, sadly, there was little opportunity afterwards for that relationship to be restored and for trust to be established again.

No wonder then that the following words resonated with me when I read them last week:

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18

I long for the words that roll off my tongue to bring healing rather than piercing pain to others, don’t you? Of course, at times, we need to speak firmly and with passion, to stand up for what is right and not let things slide because we lack the courage to confront. In those instances, it will hopefully be righteous anger and the desire for God’s justice to rule that motivate us to speak out. But at all times, our end goal needs to be restoration and healing—for others and for ourselves.

Then further on in the same chapter, I came across the following:

An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up. Proverbs 12:25

We are often unaware what others are going through, aren’t we, or what is driving them to act the way they do? At times we can see anxiety written on a person’s face or obvious in how they speak and act. Yet many of us are adept at burying such emotions well below the surface where others will not notice. How important it is then to endeavour to speak kindly, because those few words from us can lighten another’s load in ways we might never know or could ever imagine.

Be kind and compassionate to one another … Ephesians 4:32

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 1 Corinthians 13:4

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I sat there waiting, the talk I was about to give clutched in my hands. I had known there would be a business session first, followed by morning tea. Then, as guest speaker, I was to address everyone physically present, as well as those joining in via Zoom from home. My husband and I had arrived early to set up my book table and check in with the person in charge of technology, with whom we had already liaised via email, text and Zoom, but I was still nervous. What if I could not share all those power point slides during my talk? What if our Zoom connection via my mobile phone did not work?

As the meeting began, my heart sank. The first speaker seemed to have no idea how to use Zoom—or the microphone right in front of him. Only the top of his head was visible on the screen showing us all what those at home could see, while the microphone obscured the rest of his face. And he spoke so softly, it was hard to hear him. The technology expert seemed busy with other things and took ages to act. And as I watched, I became more and more anxious.

But worse was to come. As one particular person approached the microphone, the slide presentation he needed to show could not be found. A frustrating fifteen-minute wait ensued, until it was eventually located. But this episode did little to inspire me with confidence.

A string of people then came to promote upcoming events, but they all moved so slowly and took so long to share what needed to be shared—and much more too! I stared at my watch and saw those precious minutes ticking away, shortening the time available for me to speak.

Just then, my husband noticed my anxiety and leaned over to me.

‘Relax,’ he told me. ‘God’s in charge!’

At first, I felt angry. How could I possibly relax, when these people seemed unaware how time was slipping away? And how could I shorten my talk, yet still say what I needed to say? But then I took a deep breath and tried to focus on God. Yes, I could not deny God was right there with me and was indeed in charge. I had prayed about the morning and I had also invited my prayer team to pray for me as I spoke. In this moment, I needed to trust God and simply do my best in the time I was given to share from my heart.

At last, the moment came. All our technology worked perfectly and everyone could hear and see me. I left out certain parts and finished exactly when I was supposed to, to my great relief. And afterwards, there was even time for some book sales and several interesting conversations with people.

Yes, God was there, in the midst of the chaos and failures and anxiety. And God is right there now too for us all, whatever is happening in our lives, walking through each moment with us. God knows. God cares. Our God is sufficient—always.

And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19 NLT

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IMG_20170915_104850396Last week, I decided to walk to some nearby bushland to explore a path my husband had told me about. As instructed, I headed down some rough, wooden stairs and turned right at the creek bank. I continued on slowly, stopping at times to enjoy the beautiful setting and listen to the numerous birds in the surrounding trees. While I was familiar with the tinkling bellbird sounds and the raucous screeching of the sulphur-crested cockatoos, all the rest left me feeling so curious—and ignorant.

But as I kept walking, I began to experience a different feeling as well—an unwelcome sense of fear. While the path ahead looked well-used, it was uneven, with rocks and tree roots protruding in spots. I had good walking shoes on, but I knew I still needed to be careful where I put my feet. Then my mind and imagination began to work overtime. What if I fell over and hurt myself? There was no one else in sight and no houses close by. What if I was not found for a long time?

You see, a couple of years ago, I did fall over while out walking. My foot twisted under me when I stepped on a small, innocuous looking branch on a perfectly flat, concrete bike path and pow—I hit that concrete with one almighty thud! On that occasion, a cyclist passed by soon after, stopped to help me to my feet and made sure I was okay before riding on. I thought I was—but, as it turned out, I ended up with a chipped ankle bone.

As I dwelt on this past experience, I believe God intervened, halting those tumbling thoughts and enabling me to put things in better perspective. This time around, I was indeed taking much greater care as I walked, whereas on the day I fell, I was still mulling over a talk I had given that morning and was oblivious to my surroundings. I also had my mobile phone with me, so could easily call my husband, as I did when I hurt myself. Besides, another walker would probably come along soon—and there was a busy road not so far away. All up, I was quite safe.

Then I remembered something else—and almost laughed out loud at myself. All week, I had been reading whole passages of Scripture on the theme of ‘Learning to live trustingly’. These included various verses about getting rid of worry and anxiety, about being more than conquerors, about trusting God in every situation—even about walking on straight paths!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV

Yet here I was, forgetting all those beautiful words in a moment of fear. I had indeed tripped up badly.

At that point, I sensed God smiling at me and whispering: ‘I’m right here with you, Jo-Anne—I haven’t left you. Don’t let that old enemy trip you up with fears and worries. Don’t let him bring you down. Just enjoy my creation around you—and enjoy this moment with me!

I think I need to read all those verses through again very soon and truly believe them this time—don’t you?

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