Those many other things

I wonder how often you find yourself wishing you knew more about something. Perhaps it is some skill you wish you had acquired earlier in life and would like to pursue even now. Or perhaps it is an area of expertise where you wish you did not need to rely on others’ knowledge but were able to handle everything yourself. This applies to me in the general area of IT. I am not interested in it at all, although I use my laptop all the time as a writer. Instead, I rely heavily on my husband’s knowledge whenever I experience some computer glitch or problem with the internet. But what will happen when he perhaps cannot help me? Then I may well wish I had listened to him much more carefully.

Each day, we are surrounded by so much information, some of which we may wish we had and some we are happy to ignore. But recently, I came to some verses towards the end of John’s gospel I could not remember noticing before that definitely made me long to know more. After describing how the risen Jesus appeared to his disciples, including Thomas who had not initially believed, John continues:

Jesus performed many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book. But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name. John 20:30–31

Then, in the final verse of this gospel, we find the following:

Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written. John 21:25

At that point, I felt a little ripped off. What other signs that Jesus performed do we know nothing about because they are not in John’s gospel – or anywhere else? And what about those many other things Jesus did as well that would fill whole volumes, according to John? I wanted to know all about them and perhaps get an even clearer picture of Jesus and his ministry as a result. In choosing what to include, it seems John did not overlook any signs Jesus performed or anything else he did. He simply decided – no doubt as God led him – that he had written enough to enable us to believe in Jesus, without including anything more.

As I thought more about this whole matter, I realised two things. First, we do indeed know enough of the wonderful things Jesus said and did, as John maintains, to believe Jesus is the Son of God. Second, Jesus is even more powerful and amazing than I have already concluded! According to John, we have glimpsed only a percentage of all Jesus said and did – and I for one cannot wait to discover what we have missed out on.

For now, however, we have been shown and told enough. One day, we will find out the rest but, until then, may we all keep on believing in our wonderful Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. May we continue to declare, along with the centurion who saw Jesus crucified for us:

Surely this man was the Son of God!” Mark 15:39b

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Only half believing

I could not believe my eyes at first. We had driven across town to enjoy a special Mothers’ Day afternoon tea with our son and his family and had just been welcomed into their home with warm hugs. The light was quite dim in their lounge room so I did not immediately notice someone else sitting nearby. But when our daughter-in-law smiled and pointed to my left, I looked closer. No, it couldn’t be … surely it wasn’t our older daughter who has moved interstate, sitting there smiling?

My mind whirled. I stood there for several moments with my mouth wide open and my head swivelling like one of those sideshow clowns ready to swallow any balls people throw their way. Then our daughter stood up—and, the next moment, I was enveloped in a huge, warm hug. She had driven all the way from her home in Victoria by herself to catch up with both family and friends, a huge undertaking for her, given she has had her drivers’ licence for only a few months.

To say I was shocked would be an understatement. And I was still in that state the next day when our daughter drove from where she was staying to spend a couple of hours more with us before heading back south. But the strange thing was I had somehow sensed I might see her on Mothers’ Day, despite how unlikely it seemed. In fact, I had felt this so strongly that I decided to make a batch of gluten-free chocolate brownies on the Saturday prior to Mothers’ Day so I would have something in the house that she could eat. So … why was I so surprised when she actually turned up?

For a start, in the excitement of seeing our son and his family, I forgot for a moment my sense that our daughter might be there too. But also, I suspect I had doubted myself all along and wondered if that sense that she might come was mere wishful thinking. Yes, it had manifested itself in action when I made those gluten-free slices—yet, even as I baked them, I also found myself having one of those weird, negative internal conversations with myself about it all. What are you thinking? How could she come up to see you right now? She’d have to fly to get here—and find someone to look after her cats back home. And there’s no way she would drive such a long distance. Don’t be silly! Yet it happened. Part of me had known it would, but another part did not believe it was possible.

Since then, I have wondered whether this is how I sometimes act towards God. I love God wholeheartedly, have full faith in Jesus Christ and often experience the Spirit’s empowering presence in my life. God has rescued me many times, challenged me through Scripture and prompted me to speak or act in a certain way as the Spirit has led. But, despite all this, how often do I second-guess God and harbour such disbelief when I know I can fully trust instead?

May my half-believing days soon be over. May I, like Thomas, listen to Jesus’ challenge and actually trust him instead:

Then he said to Thomas, ‘… Stop doubting and believe.’ John 20:27b

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That little matter of belief

I wonder if you have ever experienced one of God’s gentle but firm ‘ambushes’. There you are, getting on with your life, when you read some words of Scripture or someone shares a deep thought with you and—kapow! In an instant, you know God is reaching out to you, longing for you to pay attention.

A few weeks ago, I was talking with someone about an issue she was facing.

‘Lately, I’ve sensed God is asking me, “Do you trust me? Do you really trust me?”’ she said, almost as a throw-away line.

Even as I continued listening, I felt a definite nudge in my spirit and knew God was challenging me with this same question. But inwardly, I blustered a little. Of course I trust you, God! I don’t need this reminder. This person is talking with me to glean wisdom for her own life—not vice versa!

Then we put our house on the market. Hmm … did I really trust God to find that one person who would pay a good price for it? If I did, why did I have so many ‘what if’ questions in my mind? Why did I occupy my time inventing those worst case scenarios where everyone would think the house was too small or too old and where we might not have the money to make our own next purchase?

Then came Easter—and this year, I decided to read the account of the crucifixion and resurrection from John’s Gospel. Of course, John was writing in an entirely different context about an entirely different situation, but as I read, I realised God was speaking into my own life as well.

On the evening of the first Resurrection Sunday, we are told in John 20:19, as the disciples huddle in a room with the doors locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus joins them.

‘Peace be with you!’ he says, as he shows them his hands and side.

In an instant, I sensed those words were for me too.

‘Yes, Lord,’ I admitted at last, ‘My situation is nothing like what the disciples had just experienced, but I know I need that same peace right now too.’

I read on and came to the account of another meeting Jesus had with his disciples a week later, when Thomas was also present.

Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you! Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”  John 20: 26-27

Hmm—‘Stop doubting and believe.’ Those words speared straight into my spirit. There was no way around it. I had certainly doubted God was able to look after us in the whole process of selling our house. I felt rebuked—and rightly so. But I also felt deeply comforted. Yes, God knew our situation. Yes, God could indeed be trusted, even in the face of my unbelief. And yes, God was forgiving too!

Then last Friday, even before going to auction, our little house sold for a very good price indeed—and only twelve days after being put on the market. Thank you, Lord, for your unending faithfulness to us in so many ways!

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