Most of us have experienced those moments in our lives when, for one reason or another, something wonderful we have looked forward to so much doesn’t eventuate. Perhaps we had false expectations all along and it was only a pipedream. Perhaps it was something we had worked hard for, but in the end it turned out to be beyond our reach. Or perhaps someone else let us down badly. Whatever the situation, the disappointment cuts deep, doesn’t it? And sometimes it takes a long time to recover. God is still there, we know. And we also know these things happen—that this is part of life and of our messed up world. But it can certainly knock the stuffing out of us.
I have seen such events occur in the lives of friends and family. I remember a wedding that was called off at the last moment. I remember a job loss that had been a large part of someone’s reason for being. I remember miscarriages and a longed for but stillborn baby. And even now in my writing world, I see authors’ hopes dashed as manuscripts they were sure would be accepted for publication are not—sometimes after several similar rejections. Yet I wonder if, despite their devastating nature, any of these rates one little bit beside the huge disappointment Jesus’ followers experienced at his death.
This Easter, I have been reading the last few chapters of John’s Gospel and trying to put myself in the very shoes of Mary Magdalene, one of the women who came to Jesus’ burial place early on the morning of that first day of the week (John 20). In this particular account, Mary finds the stone removed from the entrance of the tomb and Jesus’ body gone, then runs and gets Peter and ‘the other disciple’. These two return home, we are told, but Mary stays there, weeping.
As I try to relate to her, it’s no surprise to me she responds that way. After all, the man she believed was the Messiah, the Son of God—moreover, the one who had delivered her from demons and accepted and believed in her—had not only died a horrible death but was now even to be denied the decent burial he had been given.
And then she has a conversation with two angels in the tomb and with someone she believes to be the gardener. This man gently speaks her name—and everything changes.
Can you imagine the utter joy you might feel if that hardest moment in your life were to be reversed—if when you felt the light had gone out of your world, the very thing you had longed and worked hard for happened or the very thing you dreaded the most did not? What an amazing, amazing experience! Right now I am imagining that myself—and trying to allow that to give me insight into Mary’s deep, overwhelming joy as she races to tell the disciples she has seen the risen Lord.
It’s like in an instant, the world is put right again for her and for us. Yet not as it was—even better. In fact, everything is put right. Forever. At that moment when Mary hears her name, a hope and a future open up for her that are beyond compare and beyond anyone’s imagination.
This Easter, Jesus has spoken my name again. He has spoken yours too. Did you hear him?
Wonderful post Jo- Anne. Thank you!
Thanks for your encouraging comment, Alicia. I just read your blog about grief too and found it very moving. What you have written is all so true. God bless you as you grieve and move through this time.
Hi Jo – Anne, thank you for your message it was encouraging and uplifting, and when you shared about Jesus calling Mary by her name it reminded me my husbands message on my Blog in Ron’s Corner, he said how important our names are and how Jesus’ compassion and Love for Mary was expressed when using her name. How wonderful God knows us by name and delights in us, even singing over us.
Christian Love from both of us – Anne
Thanks so much, Anne, for your lovely, warm comments. I totally agree with your husband re Jesus’ compassion for Mary being expressed as he spoke out her name. And I certainly agree with you too re the amazing truth that God knows us each by name. This was brought home to me very clearly over fifteen years ago now at a time in my life when I was quite exhausted and felt distanced from God. I believe God gave me a picture one night of Jesus holding me as a little baby in his arms and looking dowm at me with such pride and joy and saying my name. Jo-Anne’, over and over in such a gentle, loving voice. I knew clearly that he was showing me that he loved me totally, just as I had been created and before I had had a chance to do anything in my life that might be noteworthy or somehow earn his love. And I believe he looks at each one of us like that too. I wrote that experience of mine into one of my novels with great joy, so hopefully this picture has touchd many other hearts along the way. God bless
Jo- Anne you write so beautifully you warmed my heart as I felt your Love and acceptance, Thank you.
Thank you also for sharing from your heart and it is very True what you said that God held you in His arms of Love when you were a baby, His arms are the outreach of His heart and He knew all about you in the Spirit before you were even concieved as He knew you in the flesh when you were, and He knew your heart would be for Him and that you would come to repentance and so He chose you to be conformed into the image of His Son.
Wow doesen’t that take your breath away, Our Awesome God of Love who can do the impossiable, chose us knowing we would choose Him even before we had flesh and bone and He said… Jo – Anne and Anne you are mine eternally.
Christian Love and Blessings from both of us – Anne
Thanks for your lovely comments, Anne. God bless you both too!
Hi Jo- Anne, on my Blog I share stories I have collected over the years, sometimes I write but with being Dyslectic I don’t set out to write but like my poetry and some comments words just flow.
But I do pray about what to post and today I clicked “The Smell of Rain ” I had forgotten the ending but as I read though I thought of you and what you shared and I felt it would be uplifting to share this story with you, so I will leave the Link… God’s Love is so Amazing!
http://freedomborn.wordpress.com/2012/04/19/the-smell-of-rain/
Christian Love from both of us – Anne
Wow, what a fantastic story, Anne! I will remember this one. And I can fully believe it too. Thanks so much for sharing it with me. God bless!