Keeping up appearances

Isn’t it strange how we sometimes gain a perception of a role or occupation in society, then refuse to budge from there? Take ministers of religion, for instance. Over fifty years ago, when I introduced my husband, then training for ministry, to an aunt of mine, she burst out with the following comment: ‘Oh, so you are nice, after all!’ Did she expect him to look a particular way or be boring or not smile and joke, because he was at theological college? Hmm.

But only two weeks ago, I had a similar experience. I had just spoken at a particular club about my author journey and was standing at my book table, when two ladies came to chat.

‘I love your beautiful jumper,’ one of them said. ‘Where did you get it? It looks very jazzy indeed!’

‘Actually, it’s an op shop buy passed onto me by my sister!’ I told her.

But it was what the other lady said next that left me speechless.

‘Yes—and you don’t look anything at all like a minister’s wife!’

I was sorely tempted to ask her what she thought a minister’s wife looked like! However, I refrained, thinking I might embarrass her. Instead, I laughed and left it at that, yet her comment made me feel sad too. What had she meant? Did she think ministers’ wives always looked dowdy or old-fashioned or stern or colourless or such like? If so, where had she gained her perception of these poor, sad women? Of course, in old movies and even now on TV, ministers are often portrayed as weak and old-fashioned and prosy (think some Mr Bean-type character!). But what of their wives? I felt quite indignant when I thought about the many ministers’ wives I know (not to mention women ministers themselves!) who are always neatly and attractively dressed, have wonderful personalities and are interesting and able women all round.

I know God does not judge us by how we look, as Samuel tells us, and I am so thankful for that:

The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

But because I also know how I myself often judge others by their outward appearance, just like those two women had, I always try to look as good as I can, particularly when speaking somewhere. To help with that, I frequent a great second-hand clothing shop that also sells brand new ‘ends of lines’, with labels still attached! I want my money to stretch as far as it can but, much more importantly, I want to honour God even through the way I look. I do not want my appearance to be a stumbling-block for my audience or anyone I will chat to on the day who does not as yet know God—I do not want them to judge God in any negative way because of how I present myself.

I’m so thankful for my lovely, ‘third-hand’, black and gold jumper that apparently helped smash those ladies’ image of what ministers’ wives look like! But more than that, I hope and pray it might have helped them begin to see God in a more attractive light too.

Sometimes appearances do matter, don’t you think?

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Hearts in the right place

There is nothing quite like finding people out there who think the same as you, is there? I experienced this a few days ago when a group of Christian authors got together in Sydney. Previously, most of us had met only online—but now we were able to share face to face and hear about each other’s writing journey.

What impressed me most was each person’s desire to honour God through her writing. We were a mixed lot in many ways. Some of us were novelists of varying descriptions, one wrote children’s books, one wrote non-fiction and another, poetry. Some were published and some not. And some had been writing for many years, while others were just beginning. But we were all determined to keep God first in our writing journey.

I was impressed. Here were six other women prepared to spend long hours alone, working hard to create and refine thousands of words, crafting them into a shape people will hopefully read. They have no guarantee of this and they have no guarantee any publisher will ever offer them a contract. But God has put a dream in their hearts—and they are determined to fulfil that dream.

God can also see their hearts—and mine. God doesn’t need those words printed on paper and bound into a book to read what is deep in our spirits. God can see my motivation as I sit writing and I believe is cheering me and my friends on, as we persevere. And that’s true for each one of you, whether you are an author or not. You may slave away patiently for hours at something quite different, believing you are doing exactly what you have been called to do. God sees that—and God knows.

In 1 Samuel 16:7, Samuel says the following to David’s father, Jesse:

Man looks at the outwards appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.

So while others might not think we are doing anything significant, God sees. While we might not have that book released yet that is the tangible representation of those hours spent pouring words onto a page, God knows every single one of them anyway.

For those of us who do end up being published, we may well receive words of praise from readers. And for some, there may even be accolades or awards from those with the expertise to judge our books against others. Yet God’s heart is to reward us for our efforts anyway, even if—and especially if—no one else sees how we have put our heart and soul into it all. In Matthew 6, we read about those who loved to let the world know how pious they were and made sure people were watching when they gave money or prayed or fasted. Of course, I don’t mean that those of us who have had books published or won awards are showing off! But this is what Jesus says about those who care much more for the praise of men than the praise of God:

… I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. (v 2,5,16)

…your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. (v 4,18)

So be encouraged, all of you, writers or otherwise, who may feel you are labouring away, with no one noticing your efforts. God sees your heart. God knows. And one day, you will hear those most wonderful words of all spoken with such joy, “Well done, good and faithful servant!”

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Judging a book by its cover

In recent days, I have been involved in finalising the cover of my fifth novel, ‘Heléna’s Legacy’, due for release in June. I was asked by my publisher, Ark House, for suggestions and in the process, told them one thing I don’t like on a cover – a front view of the hero or heroine! I like my readers to imagine these characters themselves. And as the author, no image ever seems to do justice to this ‘real’ person I have walked beside for months who has persevered and struggled and triumphed and lived through so many different experiences.

When the cover was returned for approval, however, I found a front view of the main character on it! And yet … well, she looked lovely, with a rather pensive, sad expression that exactly suits the storyline. So I rapidly had to revise my own mental concept, step back a little and try to appreciate what the graphic artist had come up with. Now I’m very happy with the result – and I hope my readers will be too.

It’s sad but true that we do tend to judge a book by its cover. For this reason, I’m very glad all my novels have excellent covers. In this day of economic downturn and questions about the future of books and bookstores, we authors need all the help we can get! But all of this has led me to wonder how I myself come across to people – how the ‘cover’ I present to the world expresses what is inside me. What do people see when I get up to speak somewhere? What do people notice about the way I live my daily life?

Well, I know they see a grey-haired woman who is definitely not slim and perhaps make judgments about that! It is amazing how people are put in ‘boxes’ simply on the strength of having grey hair, I’ve discovered. Perhaps we would be suitable to speak to Seniors’ Groups, it is suggested nicely – when I absolutely love speaking to young mums or people of any age, including Seniors! But much more importantly, I hope I carry with me in what I do and say – and yes, even in my appearance – something of who God is. After all, each of us is created in God’s image, as Genesis 1:27 tells us. And as the psychologist David Benner puts it in ‘The Gift of Being Yourself’, each of us, when we are prepared to be our true selves, actually is a ‘unique face of God to the world’! What a privilege – but what a responsibility as well.

So I hope both in my life and through my novels, by God’s grace, I reflect that grace and love clearly in a way that points people to God. ‘Let you light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven’, Jesus tells his disciples (Matt 5:16). I hope as I speak, that my words carry something of the ‘fragrance of life’ that Paul talks about in 2 Corinthians 2:16. And I hope and pray that the ‘cover’ of the book of my life will attract people to God and not turn them away.

But I’m so relieved that when God looks at me, the inside matters much more than the outside! In 1 Samuel 16:7, when Samuel is sizing up Jesse’s sons as potential future kings, the Lord reminds him:

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.

How about you? What does your ‘cover’ convey? And what does God see in your heart?

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