Frustration or invitation?

I don’t know about you, but I can quickly become frustrated when something does not work out as I envisaged. It can be as mundane as having to stop to clean up something I have spilt or having to wait in a long, slow queue at the supermarket checkout or being held up in heavy traffic. I am aware I should take such simple setbacks in my stride but, instead, I can allow them to affect me far too much.

Recently, I was a little shocked at how frustrated I became at the chain of events that ensued when I arrived to speak somewhere. After some hassles in finding the right place, I then had difficulty working out which way to exit the multi-storey car park beside the venue with my books, laptop and other paraphernalia. Next, I had to wait some time while the front desk person dealt with another lady. Soon after, I discovered I could not quickly set out my book display or connect my laptop for my power point presentation because there was an important committee meeting happening in the designated meeting room. Then, even with a tech expert helping, my power point presentation would not work at first—and when it did, this expert then decided to move my laptop to the front of the room, at which point, the presentation decided not to work again! Eventually, at the last minute, just when I had decided I would speak to the assembled audience without my slides, we solved the problem and, voila, I could finally begin my talk!

Perhaps this was why, as I settled myself the next morning for my time of reading Scripture and reflection, during which I currently listen to an excellent free online devotional resource (Lectio 365), I sat up abruptly when I heard the following read out in the middle of a prayer:

I choose to welcome frustration as an invitation to grace.

Hmm … I certainly had not chosen to do that the previous day. Yes, I had prayed everything would work out but I had not even thought to include grace in my responses in any further way. What if I had been more gracious in my attitude, both inward and outward, towards those committee members who took so long to finish their meeting or those who tried to help with my power point presentation? I spoke politely to them but I am sure my irritation showed, at least a little. What if I had been more gracious to myself too in the process, fretted less and listened more when a kind gentleman present told me to relax? Most importantly, what if I had actually recognised and rested more in God’s grace to care for me through it all?

Eventually, I decided to pray that prayer myself from the heart, asking God to help me see the frustrations in life, big and small, more often as invitations to grace in every way and to be more at peace in general as a beloved child of God. When we remember the grace we have received and continue to receive, then we can truly extend that grace so much more easily to others, don’t you think?

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9a

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You never know

I have discovered I need to be prepared for anything when heading somewhere to speak. Sometimes I arrive, only to find some promised piece of essential equipment has not materialised. Or I may turn up to find everything has been taken care of beautifully. Some helpful person has the data projector or TV screen ready and connects my laptop up so that everything works perfectly, while another offers to help with my books. I always go well-armed, however, for all situations—because you never know, do you?!

Then there are the adventures of connecting with people before or after I speak. Sometimes, I discover someone knows someone in my family—my husband or one of our children. Or sometimes, someone tells me they have heard me speak elsewhere in the past. I hold my breath a little at that, but am touched as they perhaps mention something I said back then. And I am touched too, as happened this past week, when someone bounds up to my book table to say they bought my first three novels years ago after I spoke at their church—and thankfully loved them. But each time, I never know who will be listening as I speak and what interesting encounters I may have with people.

All this has taught me some important lessons. Wherever I go, I need to go prayerfully, listening for those prompts from God. Whatever I say, I need to say carefully, with gentleness and sensitivity, but also with honesty. And whatever words I put in my books, I need to write them with much deep thought and prayer. Wherever I go, I want to be the best co-worker with God I can possibly be (1 Corinthians 3:9 NLT). And wherever my books end up, I want them to reflect something at least of the heart of God for our world.

Recently, a friend wrote to tell me how she picked up one of my older novels from near the letterboxes in her section of the retirement village where she lives, took it home to read and ‘thoroughly enjoyed it’. Residents often leave books they have read in such places in the village, so, after finishing it, she then put my novel near some letterboxes in another part of the village. The next time she went past, someone had taken it. ‘It’s so good to see the seeds being sown,’ she wrote. ‘Only eternity will reveal it all.’

Whether writers or speakers or not, we all have the privilege of being God’s co-workers however and wherever we can. And no particular person’s efforts are more important than another’s. Yes, I wrote the book, but my friend grasped the opportunity and put it out there for someone else to read. And ultimately, while we might sow the seed or water it, it is God who enables that seed to grow and flourish, as Paul tells us:

It’s not important who does the planting, or who does the watering. What’s important is that God makes the seed grow. 1 Corinthians 3:7 NLT

Let’s be ready, always, to plant or water or speak or share or encourage or do whatever God gives us to do. We may never know when that will be. We may never know the end result. But God does—and that’s what matters.

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God’s in charge!

I sat there waiting, the talk I was about to give clutched in my hands. I had known there would be a business session first, followed by morning tea. Then, as guest speaker, I was to address everyone physically present, as well as those joining in via Zoom from home. My husband and I had arrived early to set up my book table and check in with the person in charge of technology, with whom we had already liaised via email, text and Zoom, but I was still nervous. What if I could not share all those power point slides during my talk? What if our Zoom connection via my mobile phone did not work?

As the meeting began, my heart sank. The first speaker seemed to have no idea how to use Zoom—or the microphone right in front of him. Only the top of his head was visible on the screen showing us all what those at home could see, while the microphone obscured the rest of his face. And he spoke so softly, it was hard to hear him. The technology expert seemed busy with other things and took ages to act. And as I watched, I became more and more anxious.

But worse was to come. As one particular person approached the microphone, the slide presentation he needed to show could not be found. A frustrating fifteen-minute wait ensued, until it was eventually located. But this episode did little to inspire me with confidence.

A string of people then came to promote upcoming events, but they all moved so slowly and took so long to share what needed to be shared—and much more too! I stared at my watch and saw those precious minutes ticking away, shortening the time available for me to speak.

Just then, my husband noticed my anxiety and leaned over to me.

‘Relax,’ he told me. ‘God’s in charge!’

At first, I felt angry. How could I possibly relax, when these people seemed unaware how time was slipping away? And how could I shorten my talk, yet still say what I needed to say? But then I took a deep breath and tried to focus on God. Yes, I could not deny God was right there with me and was indeed in charge. I had prayed about the morning and I had also invited my prayer team to pray for me as I spoke. In this moment, I needed to trust God and simply do my best in the time I was given to share from my heart.

At last, the moment came. All our technology worked perfectly and everyone could hear and see me. I left out certain parts and finished exactly when I was supposed to, to my great relief. And afterwards, there was even time for some book sales and several interesting conversations with people.

Yes, God was there, in the midst of the chaos and failures and anxiety. And God is right there now too for us all, whatever is happening in our lives, walking through each moment with us. God knows. God cares. Our God is sufficient—always.

And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19 NLT

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