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Posts Tagged ‘fear of public speaking’

I suspect all of us can think of times in our lives when we had to do things way outside our comfort zones. Recently, I spoke somewhere on the topic of public speaking itself and was quite shocked at the number of people present who said they hated the thought of ever doing any such thing. Perhaps these people may get by in life without having to speak in public, but probably all of us at some point have had to ask someone for a reference, either written or verbal, in order to apply for a job. This can indeed be scary, can’t it? Just this past week, someone told me how, when she asked a teacher for a reference on leaving school, this teacher told her there was nothing positive she could think to say about her! Oh dear.

There can be many other occasions too when we cringe at doing something which makes us feel quite vulnerable and uncomfortable. Fronting up at job interviews, for example, can be challenging, as can even applying for them, depending on the information we are asked to submit about ourselves and our abilities. Over the years, I have completed a few manuscript submissions to various publishers and initially found it rather daunting to have to ‘sell’ myself in this way, explaining, as requested at times, why they should accept my manuscript over someone else’s and what I could do to ensure my book sold well. In more recent years too, I have often emailed various community groups to let them know I am available as a speaker, should they require one, and have had to overcome the fear that I may sound too pushy or egotistical in the process.

Then there are those times, on completing a non-fiction book in particular, just as I did recently, when I have had to seek out those people willing to endorse my latest offering. Now these requests are indeed ones I mull over many times before pressing that ‘send’ button on such an email! After all, it is a big ask to expect someone in a busy ministry or work role to read one’s manuscript, however well I know them, then write something they are happy for all to read. Besides, what if they don’t like or can’t agree with some things I have written? That could well be embarrassing all round.

I can still cringe now at having to do such tasks, but there are several things these days that eventually help me overcome my reluctance. Firstly, I remind myself that what I have written is something I sensed God wanted me to write—and indeed has given me the ability to write. So, I need to be faithful and obedient and see the project through to completion.

Secondly, in any situation where I could face embarrassment or rejection, I have learnt to take great comfort from the fact that God knows me through and through, accepts me fully, believes in me and loves me with a perfect love that no one can take away from me. I am God’s child. I belong to God who will never reject me. And that changes the whole picture, don’t you think?

I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. Jeremiah 31:3b

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Jo 17I wonder if you can remember what you were afraid of most as a child. Our little grandson can become quite fearful when a certain character appears in the TV show ‘Peter Rabbit’. Whenever Mr Tod the fox turns up, Zain has been known to run and hide under the table! Now we try to reassure him and remind him how Peter Rabbit always gets away from Mr Tod—and Mr McGregor, for that matter! But Zain still takes some convincing.

I wonder what things make you fearful now you have grown up a little. Perhaps it’s heights or crowds or enclosed spaces or flying. Or perhaps it’s speaking in public, which apparently is the most common phobia adults experience. To be exposed to possible embarrassment, shame and even ridicule is just too much for many people.

My husband, who has been a minister for many years, well remembers the first time he spoke in public in his late teens. It was in the days of open air preaching and, one Sunday evening, he found himself standing on a street corner about to begin. But alas, after a few words, his mind went blank. He stumbled along until, thankfully, someone rescued him. Yet he summoned the courage to try again soon after—and, over the years, he has now given hundreds of sermons and college lectures.

In recent years, I have spoken many times as well, both in local church ministry and then as an author. I love it, but this year, I gave myself a ‘semi-sabbatical’. Then, somewhat to my surprise, when asked to speak again, I found myself feeling a little fearful. Could I still do it? Would God continue to use me in this way? Would what I say be understood and well received?

Then one day, I found myself reading the account of the resurrection in Matthew 28. Here we read that when Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to the tomb where Jesus’ body had been laid, an angel appeared in the midst of a violent earthquake and rolled the stone away. The guards were so freaked out that they ‘became like dead men’ (4). But the angel seems to have ignored them, instead addressing the two women:

Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Matthew 28:6-7

But that is not all. As the women hurried away to tell the disciples, suddenly Jesus met them as well and spoke to them:

Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me. Matthew 28:10

I love how, in the midst of such a cataclysmic event, the first thing both Jesus and the angel did was to reach out and reassure the women, urging them not to be afraid. And surely that is still Jesus’ heart for us today—man, woman or child? Whatever fear battle we are facing in our lives, our powerful and loving Lord is right there with us, urging us to trust him and not be afraid. And I’m so glad of that.

The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? Hebrews 13:6

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