I’m not so good at waiting, I’ve discovered. How about you? I want this or that now. And I’m definitely not so good at living in the moment—at noticing what I have today and appreciating this particular point in time rather than feeling frustrated as I look ahead to a time that is not yet here.
I’ve discovered this with a vengeance this past week. I have been unable to do many things I normally do because of a severe lower back problem. Instead, I have had to lie down most of the time and simply wait for my specialist appointment and that operation planned for this week. Now I imagine this period of my life wouldn’t have seemed so long, except that I am in some pain. Anyway, I should be used to waiting. That is part and parcel of a writer’s life—waiting for feedback on a manuscript, waiting to find a publisher, waiting until that book is finally released. But I must confess I have become a tad impatient at times, even with those around me, sad to say, who have only been trying to help.
Then one day, I read a sobering account in Luke 19:41-44 about something that happened as Jesus was heading for Jerusalem, knowing he would die there:
As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it and said, “If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace—but now it is hidden from your eyes. The days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment against you and encircle you and hem you in on every side. They will dash you to the ground, you and your children within your walls. They will not leave one stone on another, because you did not recognize the time of God’s coming to you.”
What sad, sad words! How clearly they show the depth of Jesus’ love for the people and for us. But it was his few, final, desolate words that spoke to me most. To me, they encapsulate Jesus’ deep grief that the people had missed their opportunity to know God. But they also spoke to me personally on a different level. In my frustration at having to wait this past little while and not be doing the things I want to do, was I missing something God wanted to teach me? Was I too not recognising the time of God’s coming to me?
I stopped then and reflected. I prayed and acknowledged God’s presence with me and in me. I stepped back into God, as it were, began to see things from a far different perspective—and soon realised how blessed I am. I have loving, caring, prayerful family and friends around me. I have a specialist I can access easily and a hospital I can go to. I have pain medication and a comfortable bed. But beyond all that, there are things God wants to teach me in this time—and I am so humbled. I don’t want to miss this moment in my life that may never come again. So right now, I am all eyes and ears to see and hear those reminders and revelations from our loving God.
How about you? Are you all eyes and ears too?
Jo-Anne Berthelsen's Blog 
Wow Jo-Anne – what a beautiful and powerful post! I can relate to everything you’ve written. Thanks for the timely reminder of how in our human frailty we can at times miss the point of what God is doing in our lives. I will certainly be praying for you this week – for health and healing and to be bathed in God’s presence.
Thanks, Kerry. I must have accidentally posted the blog for today–I didn’t expect it to come up until tomorrow! Oh well. Thankfully, God’s in charge, as I have difficulty finding my brain a little these days! And thanks so much for your ongoing prayers. I’ll keep you posted. God bless.
Re-reading that passage, has made me realise how Christ must have grieved over the times I spurned His love before I became a Christian. Praise God, He didn’t lose patience with me. It reminds me of the old hymn, I sought the Lord :
I sought the Lord, and afterward I knew
He moved my soul to seek Him, seeking me;
it was not I that found, O Savior true;
no, I was found of Thee.
Thou didst reach forth Thy hand and mine enfold;
I walked and sank not on the storm-vexed sea;
’twas not so much that I onThee took hold,
as Thou, dear Lord, took hold on me.
I’ll be praying for you on Thursday, Jo-Ann.
What beautiful words in that old hymn, Lyn. Thanks so much for sharing it with me–I will reflect on it more as time permits. And yes, God is sooooo patient with us in so many ways, don’t you think? Just as well! God bless.